5 Things Every Parent Needs to Know about Their Kids and Sex by Anne Marie Miller

Author:Anne Marie Miller
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: FAM034000;REL012030;Parenting—Religious aspects—Christianity;Child rearing—Religious aspects—Christianity;Sex—Religious aspects--Christianity;Sex instruction
ISBN: 9781493401451
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group
Published: 2016-03-29T16:00:00+00:00

Having the Conversation

Out of all the conversations you’ll have with your child about sex, the conversation about media should be the easiest for you, but it might be the most challenging for your child to hear. You have the advantage of maturity (and now some pretty consistent and revealing statistics). Your child is dealing with hormones and peer pressure. They are also just beginning to understand feelings of desire and grapple with a yearning to connect and belong.

Do you remember what it was like to be fifteen years old? I do. I thought I was way more mature and sophisticated than I actually was. My parents were old-fashioned; they didn’t know what was really going on in the world or in my life. Surely they didn’t understand my passion for being culturally well rounded. As a Christian, it was important for me to “become all things to all people so I can save some!” I also lived by the words Everything is permissible!—after all, that’s what Paul said, right? (The worst teenager is the one armed with years of Vacation Bible School, Awana, and Bible drills. We are always ready to spout Scripture, usually out of context, to prove our point! The four most difficult words you may face from your teen in this conversation are: “But the Bible says . . .”)

In hindsight, as adults, we can probably recognize the media influences that impacted us during our teenage years. Some of it wasn’t so terrible. Some of it was. Over the years, television shows, movies, and music have shaped my beliefs about love, relationships, morality, values, God, and more. I would even go so far as to say that at times I’ve allowed media to influence my view of truth—for good and bad.

For example, the media has influenced my definition and understanding of true love. I used to dream I was Meg Ryan in the movies Sleepless in Seattle and You’ve Got Mail. She always ended up happy with Tom Hanks, who portrayed the perfect, emotional, generous, and awkwardly cute man. I’ve since learned that the typical romantic comedy isn’t the most accurate reflection of real-life love. The media has also communicated that underage drinking is acceptable and the norm. Even my beloved Friday Night Lights depicted how easy it was for high school junior Tim Riggins to buy beer. The more I watched or listened to certain media, the more my vocabulary changed as swear words crept their way into my everyday conversations. Even now, after watching the series Breaking Bad, I’ve somehow picked up Jesse Pinkman’s well-known saying, “yo,” and use it far too often. The fact is that we digest what we consume. Regardless of our age, we need to be cautious of the media’s influence and impact on our lives.

Steps for Talking about Media with Your Kids

1. Look over your family values and determine how they apply to the conversation about media.

Family Values

We believe God created sex to be a worshipful experience between husband and wife that brings glory to him.

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